Monday, February 9, 2009
Help, Please!
So I have a dilemma and am needing some advice!! I'm supposed to decide by Thur. whether or not Jazlyn will be in her ballet/tap recital. There are a few catches to this. First, there's only her and one other girl in her class (they just started the class), so if Jazlyn isn't in the recital, the other little girl won't get to either. Second, the dance costumes are very pricey, and the recital isn't until June, so she has to stay in dance until then (and it's not cheap). Third, Jazlyn has some major anxiety issues, so even though she says right now that she's fine getting up in front of a bunch of strangers and dancing, I know that there is a HUGE chance that when the time comes, she'll most likely chicken out and not even want to get up on the stage. However, I hate to be the kind of parent that doesn't encourage her to overcome her fears and make her performance anxiety a self-fulfilling prophecy. But I'm thinking I could probably encourage her to perform in front of other ways that are not so expensive. What do you think????
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12 comments:
I'm curious where she is taking dance from, because if it's where I'm thinking of I just found out that the costume fee isn't the end of the bill, oh no! There's more, much more. I'm happy to explain more in person, but I think sometimes it is okay to say no and come up with other ways for a "recital" type opportunity.
So, Krista totally knows where because Ansley goes there too... Along with others in the ward who are currently enrolled or were in the past. Anyway, it is expensive and I get what you mean. We started out with recitals at Jazlyn's, then we moved here and did community ed b/c we didn't know where to send her, and now were at the same place as you. We are there, rather than community ed b/c Maisey loves to perform-now. She, (I'm sorry I sound like a broken record) was so much like Jazlyn when she was little but she ended up loving the recitals at the end of the year. It is so pricey, and I think if you are unsure, and she's unsure, I would just start with cheap old community ed! But, that's my take. When Maisey was little there weren't places to do pageants so aside from baby photo contests, it was my fix. Sick I know. I just love to see them on stage. About the class size, they might combine or you could suggest, they just learn the same dance as another group there age and come recital day they perform together... I've seen that happen with LARGE groups. I guess my point is, don't waste the big $$$ unless you all think its worth it- but you did say she loved it. And hey, I would also have some serious anxiety if I had to perform a duet on stage at that age!
My vote is to find another outlet. Just imagine if you decide to stick with it and end up being upset about all the money because Jazlyn gets stage fright at the last minute. It'll be hard not to get mad at her! Do something cheap until you know it's her thing, and then invest when you know it'll be worth it!
You are her mom and you know what's best. Don't let the other girl's situation affect your decision (maybe she's looking for an "out" also). Perhaps if the class was cheaper and the costumes more reasonable there would be more girls in the class. No better way to let the studio know the price is too high than with your feet.
There are several other ways for Jazlyn to "perform." Ask if she can give a talk in Primary next month and work on it during FHE together getting in front of the family and dancing or reciting. I don't think you should push kids out of their comfort zone--especially at such cost. They each develop at their own pace.
Liz would get all excited about the recitals, but when it came down to it she would get horrible stage fright. She'd get up on stage, but then would mostly just stand there watching the other girls. I keep her in because a girl at church teaches from her home dance studio an it is super cheap and she loves the social aspect of it. I looked into an official dance studio and they are expensive! With our situation now, money plays a big role. With the last recital it wasn't a ton of money, but it was money I had to scrape together so I felt a bit let down that I payed to watch Liz just stand on the stage. I totally wouldn't feel about about not doing this first recital, and if you decide to have her in I also would suggest seeing if they can combine them with a bigger class. Good luck on your decision. It is a toughy!
Tough call. I've never had kids in a dance recital before it sounds like it'd be crazy to make it work. I'm sure you'll do what's best. She is so cute in the dance costume! She has grown up tons since the one time I saw her at Crystal's wedding!
You know your daughter best. If she is anything like mine, the more I push the more they dig in their heels and refuse. She is young enough that I wouldn't push her yet to do something she isn't comfortable with. Good Luck with the decision.
My two cents - Alex's first recital was interesting, to say the least. Aside from the completely ignorant woman who asked (while Scott AND Alex were in earshot) if Alex was going to be gay because he was in dance, Alex took half the recital to warm up to the idea of performing in front of a crowd. But the thing was, he and everyone else there were there to GET comfortable. He spent the first part just standing there and looking out at the crowd, and then when he realized what kind of attention he was getting he started really getting into it. I agree with your friend who said to have Jazlyn do a talk at primary just to get her feet wet. That'll give you an idea of how she'll be when she gets onstage. And it probably isn't a bad idea to find a more reasonably-priced studio - we pay about $30 bucks a month for Alex to take one class each (gymnastics and dance) a week at his daycare, and they provide shoes, costumes, etc. for free. I guarantee there's something cheaper out there. But definitely keep her in dance - it's one of the things that made me so much more confident and able to get up in front of people (not just kids!). When will we see you guys next?
I think being a parent is really tough job. I bet you didn't even think about these kinds of choices before you got married.
If it is going to be too stressful on her and you don't do it. It should be fun. When she is ready to preform you will know.
You have probably already decided but for my two bits of advice I'd say don't do it. Maybe find something else she could do like sports that maybe she won't feel so scared to be in front of people. As she grows maybe she'll be ready for it and want to go back.
Always put your child first -- ahead of what teachers, friends, and neighbors think. You are their best friend and your relationship with them is most precious than gold.
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